Formerly known as aggrieved; Grand Designs, is a series set in reference to internalized expectations adopted early in life, and the shadow created by separation of self from truth. The work isn't simply about escaping inherited expectations. It's about determining what can be retained, transformed, rejected, or repurposed from the systems that produced you.

Through years of editing within a realistic social lens I had carefully crafted a persona that agreed with my environment. Pushing my internal compass aside, to find ways of becoming a version of “Human” that would protect myself from the identity based judgement that seems to define our interactions within the cult of society.

Contextually, having held space for the internal masses of hardship in the ‘Inside’ series I found myself grappling with somewhat Jungian concepts of the shadow, persona, and my anima before these concepts would come into full view. Expansive feeling and need for expression pushing through my hands before I could articulate the dissonance I felt, these sculptures acted as a form of creative introspection that would define my next steps in personal expression. 

As often comes with Hindsight, and is the nature of externalizing , the separation between the anima and shadow within myself became easier to define as the frame of reference to the persona I had built began to shift; My physical location, social environment, and personal expression following my personal perspective. Originally it was hard to quantify the momentary glimpses of harmony buried within a complex of shame and guilt without recognizing my part in the construction of my own narrative. 

The mixture of audio and sculptural mediums used to create this series’ helped me explore the layered dynamics between external influence and internalized aspects of myself. Deep rumbling sounds with highlights zipping by  accompanied by droning and continuously returning hums within the void. An unsettling invisible intersection and cross chatter between looming figures. positioned to surround their creator in a cage of input like stalagmites reaching to expand, their presence became evident throughout the space as the viewer never quite escapes the creatures noise. 

“Encompassed” began this series as the drafts and maquette were developed to further explore the soft yet grotesque shadows, its  arms outstretched preparing to surround in expectation of embrace its massive bulky frame establishing its weight and position. The fur that once implied softness now matted by patches of viscus liquid, with bones of various creatures protruding from its restricted body, is tied by fraying twine used to define what shape it took. Using the fur explored through Dinner For One, established as a source of nourishment, makes the connection to refused lessons fed by various sources over time. Rejecting the olive branch  becoming social faux pa, disuse of the offer results growing masses of dissonance, the shadow looming just outside the sphere we hold for ourselves. This over reach of hierarchical education systems of often shifting the beliefs of the elders who train the beliefs of the younger individuals by blocking paths forward in precedent.  

“Followed” created a scorpion like cradle to complete the surrounding nature of ‘encompassed’ its tail like nature bringing the body’s beliefs forward although their direct connection is inaccessible forming beneath the groundwork. This tail taking a stand to protect, without strangling its own arms missing as the transparency of its beliefs provide more space to grow outside their expectations. Its speakers on the other hand positioned at ear level their sound at a higher pitch, warnings of the world behind it more active as it leans in to emphasize its point. When and where these waves of noise overtake your experience as arbitrary input seems to miss the context of your conversations, it’s truth predetermined before your input. 

“???”, the final sculpture in this composition, its name forgotten to time as personal growth and development resulted in the practical and physical loss of these sculptures.  The crawling gesture of this form becomes its nature as the limbs carrying this figure to the ceiling  as set constructed expectations are placed in reference.  Preparation for the purpose intended by their counter parts is formulated, and the opportunity for upwards growth and preparation to jump into action in equal measure are carefully defined by the individual to appease the group. The contextual disposition of this creature is evident, as these larger figures form a pair that establishes the visual language of their experience. recurring imagery of viscera and bone are externally present throughout the composition as consumption becomes nature, the need to eat or be eaten baked into the growth opportunities provided through which nourishment becomes a system of scarcity. 

“Resin and bone” compositions created as a 2 dimensional attempt at flattening the  compound ideas explored throughout the series. The carefully organized design of skeletal structures, with the flesh of their lives removed from their once living bodies, surrounded by pooling liquid like frozen bile is hung vertically. These pieces affixed in their arrangements by the same viscera emanating from the sculptural bodies, become another product of expectations leaking into the external spaces that may not contain their arbiters. The change of gravity as these pieces are nailed to the wall, becomes a 4th dimensional separation from the reality they are formed within expanding their impact. This parallels the time based impact of external influences upon the future, the pools ending after a certain distance, with  white walls surrounding them offering the blank slate within which new creations can form. 

The artist within the work becomes a developed conversation, as the formal dress becomes an expression of expectation subverted by context. A maroon ‘pant suit’ purchased with the income from the sales of the 23 birds series explores the ways our origins can support the production of a unique life. The separation of Anima and shadow within my-self, explored through the polar extremes of feminine and masculine, are blurred by juvenile sizing and cut standards where a “female suit” sets the parameters for external presentation. The purplish color of the pantsuit and hair relating to the ‘purple triangle’ categorization of individuals throughout the holocaust, based on the systemic biases of normality and queer identity. The jaw in the pocket of the suit sitting in front of the heart worn as a symbol of the lessons Carried forward that serve to protect aspects of our development. Fierce defense of personal truth becoming a lesson of resilience, through the stories passed down from generations of personal experience. These stories informing the need for protective tools within expected relationships with the world around us, our teeth an aggressive approach to defending our beliefs. 

Within the greater context of this work the artist becomes an accumulation of persona, anima, and self through which aspects of identity and gender are formed. Nature and nurture are met within the context of personal truth as identity becomes a multi faceted dialogue between child and formative council.